


R.I.P. Vine

by james_minerva



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Modern Day, One-Shot, Some Fluff, Some vine-quoting, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:08:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james_minerva/pseuds/james_minerva
Summary: I have absolutely no idea what this is. But if you're reading, thank you so much.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	R.I.P. Vine

**Author's Note:**

> I have absolutely no idea what this is. But if you're reading, thank you so much.

It really is a sight to behold, Remus sucking him off. He sits between his legs, looking up through long eyelashes. Sirius’s toes curl. He finds Remus’s hair with his fingers and tugs not-so-gently, secretly loving the moan he pulls from Remus’s throat.  
“Remus.” Sirius gasps. Remus makes a questioning noise as best as he can around Sirius.  
“Look at me.” Remus complies and his eyelashes cast shadows across his cheeks. Sirius could die. But a question has been burning on his tongue since Remus had crawled between his legs and dipped his fingers below the waistband of Sirius’s jeans.  
“So no head?” Sirius asks, miraculously keeping a serious face. Remus, on the other hand, chokes a little bit before sitting up.  
“What was I doing down there? Playing fucking golf?” Remus asks sarcastically. Sirius just laughs as Remus puts his head back down. A wave of white-hot pleasure rips through Sirius and he arches. Remus moans in agreement before sitting up slightly.  
“Does that feel good?” Remus asks. Sirius arches again, looking up to the ceiling, before threading his hand through Remus’s hair and looking at him.  
“Ah,” Sirius says, and Remus pulls back.  
“Put your dick away and leave. I want a divorce.” Remus climbs off the bed.  
“We’re not married,” Sirius scoffs.  
“Do you think that matters to me? Guess I’m gonna go play some real golf now.”  
“Do you even know how to play golf?” Sirius asks. Remus thinks for a minute, then yells.   
“I'll learn!”   
Sirius rolls his eyes fondly and follows Remus out to the living room. Too late he realizes he has no pants on but he’s ok with it.  
“We’ve talked about this. You can’t quote vines during sex,” Remus cries, looking distraught. Sirius rolls his eyes fondly and walks over to where Remus is standing.  
“I’m sorry,” Sirius says, leaning in and up to press his forehead to Remus’s.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes. Now let’s get back to it, shall we?” Sirius asks.  
“Yeah.” Instead of leading them to the bedroom, Remus hops up to sit on the counter. Sirius scoffs.  
“You can’t sit there.” Sirius realizes his mistake a second too soon.  
“Actually, Megan-“  
“Remus.”  
“I can’t sit anywhere-“  
“Please don’t.”  
“I have-“  
“Baby.” Not even the pet names can save him now.  
“Hemorrhoids!” Remus finishes gleefully, sliding off the counter.  
“I can’t stand you,” Sirius groans. Remus pouts  
“I’m about to get very short with you,” Remus says, trying to sound annoyed.  
“You’re already very short. You’re like…” Sirius thinks. “Dick height,” He finishes, much to the dismay of Remus.  
“Get fucked,” Remus mutters. Sirius just squeezes his hand.  
“I’m planning on it.”  
—  
Sirius’s plan is complete and they lay next to each other. It’s one of those moments in which Sirius is relaxed and open and Remus loves it.  
“How are you?” Remus asks, muffled by Sirius’s neck.  
“Oh, thanks for checking in, I’m still a piece of garbage,” Sirius half sings into the pillow. Remus swears loudly and swings his leg over Sirius’s neck. Sirius pretends to choke before laughing.  
“I mean if you wanted to go again, you just had to ask,” Sirius says, and Remus lets out a fake moan that dissolves into giggles and sits down heavily on Sirius’s chest. He wheezes slightly.  
“I’m going to kill you,” Sirius says sharply, though he’s still breathless and it sounds funny. Remus leans down for a kiss and Sirius parts his lips slightly, but Remus is feeling mean.  
“I’m a bad bitch, you can't kill me,” Remus says into Sirius’s open mouth and immediately leaps up and sprints off the bed and into the living room. He hears Sirius swear from the other room. He comes into the room just as Remus sits down on the couch.  
“Stop being a fucking whore and come back to bed,” Sirius growls, but Remus can hardly take him seriously because of-  
“Are you seriously looking at my dick right now?” Sirius asks exasperatedly. Remus gets up from the couch and walks over to Sirius.  
“Yes, daddy,” Remus murmurs against his neck, hoping to diffuse the situation and go to sleep. Sirius lifts Remus’s chin and they make eye contact.  
“Do I look like-?” Sirius says at Remus. It’s the breaking point.  
“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.” And before Sirius can react, Remus slams the bedroom door and the lock slides into place. Sirius groans.  
“At least give me some pants!” The door opens and Remus throws some pants at him before shutting the door again. The whole situation makes Sirius laugh.  
“I love you, Re,” Sirius says through the door. He hears a mumbled “I love you too”, and he takes his place on the couch.

The next morning, Sirius wakes up in bed in the arms of his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, I have a few other works on my account. Find me on tumblr at james-minerva! Feel free to leave comments <3


End file.
